If you could write a letter to your younger self, what would you say and what advice would you give?
Inspired by a question brought on by FAMVIN, I thought of our foundress, St Louise de Marillac, and what she, as a Sister, might have said to her younger self, who was a wife and mother of a young child.

As background, Saint Louise applied to enter the Capuchin Sisters as a teenager but was rejected because of "poor health" (which may have been code for "born out of wedlock") Eventually, some years later, her uncle arranged for her to marry Antoine le Gras. While it had been an arranged marriage, it seemed like they truly loved each other. A year later, they had a son, Michel. Soon afterwards, Antoin fell seriously ill and, as she took care of Antoin and little Michel, Louise began to doubt whether she was, in fact, meant to be a wife and mother or if she was supposed to be become a Sister but took the wrong path.

What might have the older Louise told herself during this period? Here's how I imagine such a letter might go:

Louise,
I know you're troubled right now. With a husband and a baby, you feel like your vocation is split in two directions - there's the present and then there's still that desire to become a Sister, the one you felt since you were a kid. I know it hurts and that, while you love your husband deeply and could plant an infinite number of kisses on your son, you're confused as if this is where God really wants you to be.


Breathe. Live in the present moment, for in it God is taking you somewhere. Love Antoine with all your heart. Love Michel with all your heart. Life with Antoine, now suffering with a terrible illness, isn't easy, I know. Think of him as the poor suffering Christ...when you put your hand to his forehead to feel his fever, pretend you are doing so to Christ; when you sit by his bedside, let it be as if you were visiting and comforting the Christ Jesus in his most troubled hours. Those moments with Antoine will be a precursor of what's to come, what will become your life's work.


You may look around you at your matrimony, at your motherhood and think that desire of becoming a Sister is now fruitless. Let me just tell you, without divulging too much, that nothing is impossible for God.


You see, Louise, you've been chosen for a number of vocations, not just one. So breathe, be patient with yourself, and please realize that God is working in you.
                                                                                             In love of Jesus Crucified,
                                                                                                         Louise


So, what happened next? Well, Louise grappled with this issue for years. One Pentecost, in 1623, it hit her that she was exactly where she was supposed to be in the present moment......and that one day, there will come a time to make vows of poverty, chastity and obedience and that she would be in a small community with others who would do the same. Her "vision" of this community confused her a bit - because she imagined "there would be much coming and going" and religious communities back then were all cloistered - but she accepted this realization from God. Antoin would die in 1626 and eight years later, St Louise would, along with St Vincent de Paul, found the Daughters of Charity......and the rest is history.

Coiffe or No Coiffe? That is the Question....

American Daughters of Charity under
10 years vocation

As you may or may not know, the Daughters of Charity have the option of wearing a coiffe (small veil). As I enter postulancy next week, I grow closer towards having to make that decision since I would start wearing the habit when I enter Seminary (and become "Sister") in January 2013.

Wearing the coiffe - a simple blue veil - is entirely optional. Some Sisters go for it for various reasons and some don't, also for various reasons. Personally, at my house, there is one Sister that wears the coiffe and three that don't.

I recently had a long conversation with one Sister about this. Personally, the topic fascinates me. As we talked, I started creating a list of reasons to wear or not wear the coiffe.

Reasons to Wear the Coiffe
1. The coiffe gives a great witness. This happens in a number of ways - it shows others that young people are still choosing religious life (it's particularly a great witness to my generation, who wants to see this kind of radical witness) and it hopefully reminds them of God and their faith. It shows others that I'm a person of prayer and that may lead to people approaching me asking for prayers.

Daughters of Charity in Kenya

2. The coiffe connects us more with the international community. The Daughters of Charity number thousands and are in 91 countries. In most of those countries, they wear the coif, although sometimes they're of different colors.
3. The coiffe gives a sense of accountability. Wearing the coiffe means that, without even speaking a word, people would know that I am a representative of the Church and my community. I must be responsible with my own actions.
4. The coiffe allows people to see that Sisters are real people. Many see Sisters, especially those wearing a veil, as stiff, strict and perfect human beings. Wearing the coiffe, while still being me, would hopefully shatter that stereotype and show others that Sisters are real people and just like real people, we're all unique!
5. The tradition. The coiffe is the 'successor' of the cornette, which the Daughters wore for centuries, after Mother Guillemin changed the habit during Vatican II. The cornette had become an international symbol for charity (as well as one of the most ridiculous religious habits, but still). And of course, the veil is also an international symbol for religious life.

Reasons Not to Wear the Coiffe
1. Your life is what gives great witness. I don't need a veil to give great witness. If people see that I have dedicated my life to God and the poor, it should hopefully remind others of God. People will hopefully recognize I am a Sister by the Vincentian cross hanging around my neck.
2. The coiffe sometimes isn't practical for ministry. I once heard a story about a Sister, who was/is a social worker. One of her co-workers was raped but didn't tell Sister, though she was a good friend, for several months. When Sister asked her why she had waited so long to talk to her, the friend said "well, you know..." and made a motion over her head to represent the veil.
3. People treat you different if you're wearing a coiffe. One Sister I know said she took off the coiffe because she was tired of complete strangers treating her with more respect than other people, tired of getting free things for no reason or being told she could skip ahead in line.

The first habits of the Daughters
of Charity looked more like this

4. Not wearing the coiffe allows people to see that Sisters are real people. Some people are more likely to approach a Sister and feel more comfortable if they are not wearing a veil - perhaps of a bad experience with Sisters, perhaps because of fear, I don't know.Another Sister, a teacher, told me it seems that young people are more likely to approach her if she's not wearing a coiffe and she wants them to feel comfortable around her.
5. The tradition. The mission of the Daughters of Charity is to serve the poor. Our founders St Vincent and St Louise wanted the Daughters to blend in, to wear what the poor wore. The cornette back in the day (1600s France) was the fashion of the poor - it was like a sun hat. The Daughters originally wore it to blend in with the poor. By not wearing the coiffe, we once again blend in with the poor.

I'm still undecided as to what I will choose because I do see good arguments on both sides. And the great thing is that all the Sisters remain united, whether they're wearing a coiffe or not. There is no 'competition' on either side, it's just seen as a personal choice.

So, what do you think? What would you choose? If you're a Sister, what did you choose?

Serving the Poor: Sr Liz Sjoberg's TV Appearance

Happy New Year!

It is a custom in the Daughters of Charity to take a silent retreat the last day of the year. I brought along Sr Anne Higgins' book "Digging for God: Praying with Poetry" as a guide for me. It led me to write the following poem, as I reflected on other Daughters of Charity around the world, also on retreat...

One Sister, One Hermana
Brisk air, a calm lake
antique trees, cars and lawnmowers in the distance
luxuries of this First World
what I see as I sit

Spring air, a flowered yard
loud roosters, snow and mountains in the distance
luxuries of this Third World
what she sees as she sits

Two worlds, two soils, two airs
   two groups to love and serve
One God, one retreat, one year
   one chance to praise and silence
Two lives, two joys, two sorrows
   two hearts united in prayer.


Happy new year!

O God, Send Us Fools: A Prayer for Vocations

Just yesterday I re-discovered this prayer as I searched for vocation-related material to put in the church bulletin. I believe it speaks to religious vocations - I find it especially great for the Daughters of Charity who dedicate themselves to the poor. A prayer we Catholics need to pray, that more young people may hear the call to religious life or priesthood. But also for, in general, disciples of Jesus, a prayer that can be used by any Christian, irregardless of denomination.

O God, send us fools,

who offer themselves wholly,

who let go,

who love without words,

who give themselves truly and to the end.

We need fools, 

the unreasonable,

the passionate,

who can leap into insecurity,

into the ever yawning gulf of poverty.

We need fools for now,

enchanted by the simple life,

loving peace,

cleansed of compromise,

firm against betrayal,

heedless of their own lives,

ready to undertake anything,

or go anywhere:

at the same time obedient,

spontaneous and decided,

gentle and strong.

O God, send us fools. 

- Father Louis Joseph Lebret

Postulancy: The Verdict is In!

So you know how I mentioned that I was experiencing my own personal understanding of the meaning of Advent? That was my sly way of saying "so I applied for postulancy a month ago....and I've been waiting for an answer ever since" And I waited....and waited....and waited. I'm not going to lie, it seemed like forever....and doubts and self-consciousness started to pop up ("what if they don't accept me? what will I do then?, etc etc").

A postulant next to a
Daughter of Charity

But lately, as I waited longer and longer, I gave it all up to God. I said "you know what, it's not up to me anymore....whatever the Council decides is Your will, God, and You know what is best for me. I put everything in Your hands" Before you think me holy in any way, know that it wasn't easy...nor was it consistent. I was constantly fighting with myself over who was really in control: me or God.

But tonight, after so much waiting, I received the call. And the answer was....yes, I am accepted to postulancy with my beloved Daughters of Charity.

Finding out was like a breath of fresh air....it was a feeling of relief, a feeling of letting go, a feeling of peace, but most of all a feeling of JOY.

What an amazing early Christmas present. I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Joy....

On a warm feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe feast day, I walked into the Divino Niño convent, dragging a large suitcase, now an aspirant. Soon after Christmas, I would don the blue pleated jumper, white blouse and navy vest/sweater. Six months later, I would walk out of the Divino Niño convent, dragging that same suitcase but in the opposite direction, now dressed back in my T-shirt and sweatpants. Following me were Sisters and my companions in formation, who loved me so much, despite my decision to leave, to send me off at the airport.

Hermana Paula, me and Sr Mary Elko, an
American Daughter of Charity I met during
aspirancy

It's been four years since that Guadalupe feast day when I entered that community. After waking up this Sunday after a very late Mañanitas dedicated to the Virgin of Guadalupe, I thought of those Sisters, that community.

It gave me an immense joy for two possibly contradicting reasons. It gave me joy to think of them, Sisters I love very much, some of whom I regard as my closest friends. That morning, I was also able to coincidentally talk with Hermana Delia, one of those close friends. Just a year older than me, we've had many adventures, laughed a lot, cried together and now she is in El Salvador, preparing for her perpetual vows.

But it also gave me great joy to reflect on how I've truly found a home with the Daughters of Charity. While these Sisters aren't as young as I am, they are an amazing group of wonderful women. I've fallen in love with their spirituality, the Founders speak to me, their service and ministry is inspiring and I have the complete freedom to be myself.

God gives us joy in different ways. As someone 'in waiting' so to speak, it was wonderful to wake up with this joy sent by Him and to rejoice at His presence in my life. It was Gaudete Sunday, after all.