Today is the feast day of my confirmation saint, St. Joan of Arc, patron saint of France. I choose her as a confirmation saint when I was only 15. And really, back then, I had little knowledge of the saints. What really inspired me to pick her was the made-for-TV movie about her that aired around the time.
Now, at 25, it's interesting that perhaps my favorite saints come from France....St. Vincent de Paul, St. Louise, St. Therese, etc...even though, besides a French 101 course in college, I have no connection whatsoever with France!

St. Joan's military successes aren't what amaze me about her. In fact, her military experience is what appeals the least to me about her. What amazes me about her is her courage in a world dominated by men and her willingness to follow the will of God, despite ridicule and the danger of death either by battle or by the Church itself.

Saint Joan of Arc, pray for us! Who is your confirmation saint? What inspires you about him/her?

Saint Therese dressed as one of her favorite saints, Joan of Arc

Vincentian Quote of the Week: St Louise & Charity

The person who does not love does not know God, for God is Charity....the practice of charity is so powerful that it gives us the knowledge of God, not as He is in Himself, but we penetrate so deeply into the mystery of God and His greatness that we may say that the greater the charity, the greater our participation in this divine light which will inflame us with the fire of Holy Love for all eternity. (Spiritual Writings of St. Louise, A.29)

This week's quote is from St. Louise, foundress of the Daughters of Charity. This is from her private writings in 1630. It echoes the well-known and very true sentiment "God is love"! Remember that, in some translations, the verse actually reads "faith, hope and charity, and the greatest of these is charity" (1 Corinthians 13:13).

No Perfect People Allowed

Mother Teresa - a Catholic figure I grew up with and who many others knew almost intimately by hearing about her ministries or reading her books. Many grew to admire her, Protestant and Catholic alike.

But eventually, I think our view of her turned supernatural. We started to say things like "Well, I'm no Mother Teresa..." or "I could never be like her..." Without meaning to (hopefully), we turned Mother Teresa from an imperfect human being to a sinless supernatural almost-deity.

But guess what? Mother Teresa was human. She was amazing and wonderful and admirable...but human, nonetheless. She was holy...but, just like all the other saints in heaven, she sinned, just like the rest of us. She was imperfect, just like the rest of us.

People were shocked when a book called Come Be My Light came out, containing excerpts from Mother Teresa's journals. We found out what few knew during Mother Teresa's lifetime - for the last 50 or so years of her life, in all the time we knew her, she was going through a period of spiritual darkness - a period in which she felt spiritually empty, in which she felt as if God had abandoned her, in which she felt deep and agonizing pain. We saw her humanity up close and personal for the first time.

I think we tend to have almost the same view of Sisters (or nuns, if you want to use that term) as we did of Mother Teresa - sinless, perfect, unlike one of us in every way, almost not even human. I have to admit that, during the beginning stages of my discernment, I fell into this exact same fallacy and it took me a long time to recover...I still fall into this fallacy sometimes, wondering "am I really worthy to be a Daughter of Charity?" But once you get to know Sisters (of any congregation)....and I mean really know Sisters, not just meet one on the street...that view comes crashing down. You find that they are human, not just mindless sinless drones. They cry just like you, they laugh just like you, and they make mistakes, just like you.

Thomas Merton, a monk/priest and a great spiritual writer, once said in his journals:

My vocation does not really make me any different from the rest of men or put me in a special category except artificially, juridically. I am still a member of the human race, and what more glorious destiny is there for man, since the Word was made flesh and became, too, a member of the Human Race!

If you're discerning religious life, please don't fall into the fallacy of thinking that you "could never be perfect like them" or you aren't "worthy enough to join them". It is unfair to yourself to think this...you're a loved daughter of God and you're just as imperfect as all of your other Sisters in Christ. Even if you're not discerning religious life, don't fall into this fallacy either...it was unfair to Mother Teresa to assume she was perfect and it is the same for all the other religious out there.

Religious life is a holy and great life, no doubt, but not one made up of perfect people...because otherwise, what a boring life that would be!

White Wings and Barricades

During one of the many crazy uprisings in France, a group of rebels was chasing a government military officer. The officer ran into a house of the Daughters of Charity and then into their courtyard, where he stood feeling trapped. The crowd caught up to him, rushed into the house, and pointed their guns, aimed and ready to kill. A Sister named Rosalie Rendu ran in front of the man and blocked their shot. "NO, WE DON'T KILL PEOPLE HERE!" The crowd agreed - "oh yeah, you're right, Sister, this isn't a good place - let's lead him into the street!" Then, all the Sisters joined Rosalie, now completely blocking the man from the crowd. "NO!" Sister Rosalie cried and then fell to her knees "Please, I have given 50 years of my life for you. For all that I have done, give me this man's life!" The crowd put down their guns and left. Amazed, the officer then asked "Who are you?!" She responded "Nobody...just a Daughter of Charity".

There are many saints that were Daughters of Charity - St. Louise de Marillac, St Catherine Laboure, Bl. Rosalie Rendu, Bl. Giuseppina Nicoli, Bl. Marta Anna Wiecka, Bl. Marguerite Ruatan, Bl. Lindalva Justo de Oliverira - and there are more that are on the way. And of course, you have to throw St. Elizabeth Ann Seton in the mix too, because her original congregation, the Sisters of Charity of St Joseph, merged with the Daughters of Charity soon after her death.

I have to admit I have a list of favorites (is that wrong?) among that list, but my absolute fav is Blessed Rosalie Rendu. Which is strange because I hadn't even heard her name until last October.

Rosalie Rendu grew up during the French Revolution. It admittedly didn't affect her hometown as much as, let's say, Paris or the big cities, but as anti-clericalism spread through the country, her family started hiding priests and bishops. Rosalie even made her First Communion in the basement by candlelight by one of the "servants" in the house. Eventually, things calmed down and Rosalie ended up discovering the Daughters of Charity when she started volunteering at their hospital. She joined during a time of unrest within the Daughters themselves - they had just formed again after so many had to return home during the Revolution and there was disagreement over the governance. (These issues within the Daughters eventually figured themselves out.) As a Daughter, she was sent to the Mouffetard District of Paris...and she would stay there for the rest of her life.

Rosalie started her life as a Daughter of Charity by teaching in the free school and visiting the sick poor. Soon enough, when she was not so much older than myself, she became Superior of the local community. During her lifetime, she would end up founding a free clinic, a pharmacy, a school, an orphanage, a youth club and a home for the elderly. She grew famous not only among the poor, but also among the rich. But life wasn't so easy.

Cholera epidemics kept popping up in her district, time after time again. Rosalie not only visited the sick, but was one of the ones (along with her Sisters) picking up the dead bodies on the streets when no one else would. And then there were the uprisings. Barricades were set up all throughout her district, creating battle lines within the city. But Rosalie didn't care. She needed to serve the wounded so, risking her life, she crossed the barricades as bullets flew around her, to serve the wounded on the other side. These heroics led to the name of one of the first books about her, "White Wings and Barricades", referring to the "white wings" of the cornette.

I admittedly don't like this picture
of her. "But that's what she looked
like!" Sr Denise told me.
But I don't think it captures her
courage and joy!
She's not even smiling!

While her actions are certainly to be admired, one of my favorite things about Rosalie are the stories about her. She was absolutely audacious. Apparently, there were times that even she was shocked by her own audacity, even in the midst of complete danger.

Here's one gem - one day, the prefect of police came to Rosalie to warn her that the police would be arresting her for harboring those accused of participating in the revolt (and she was indeed doing this). He had to fight his way through the crowd, in line waiting to see her, to reach Rosalie. When he finally reached her, she didn't recognize him and said "I'm sorry, Monsieur, but you're going to have wait, just like everybody else" And the perfect did. When it was his turn, he said "Madame, I have orders to arrest you. I have come to ask you personally how you dare to place yourself in a position of revolt against the law." Rosalie responded "Monsieur, I am a Daughter of Charity. I do not have a flag. I go to the aid of the unfortunate wherever I encounter them. I try to do good for them without judging them. I promise you, if you ever need help, I'll do the same for you", essentially confessing to the crime. She was never arrested, however. Another gem, of course, is the story I told you in the first paragraph.

Perhaps I feel such a deep connection with Rosalie because of the unrest in France, which I can relate with my time in Bolivia. Granted, Bolivia is nothing compared to the unrest during Rosalie's time, but I have had my share of fears and times of necessary courage and/or "what the heck is going on?!". I remember watching as a journalist and a cameraman collapsed on live TV because tear gas was thrown on them, watching in shock as the news reported that a bomb had exploded outside the archbishop of Santa Cruz's house in April 2009, listening to the Sisters as they told me of times they were sprayed with tear gas as children for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, biting my lip when the embassy requested all Americans leave Bolivia (I didn't) and as they evacuated non-essential personnel from the embassy due to unrest in La Paz in September 2008. The unrest didn't reach our little town, yet there were times we couldn't go to the city, either because barricades were set up blocking the city, strikes of drivers or protests that could climax into who-knows-what. Bolivia was absolutely nothing compared to Rosalie's France, yet I feel a deeper connection to her history because of my experience there.

Perhaps God's will won't lead me into a country so full of unrest like Rosalie's France, but I do hope and pray that one day I may have her utmost bravery in dedication to serve the poor, wherever or however that may be.

Vincentians in Bolivia

One of the blogs I follow is "Voces Vicentinas" written by Fr. Aidan Rooney, an American Vincentian priest, who lives in the Altiplano in Bolivia. I read his entries with nostalgia, although I lived in a different city hours away. Today, he posted an entry on schools in Bolivia that I have to share because it almost completely echoes my own experience in Cochabamba:

His blog entry: Having What You Need

If you'd like to donate to Fr. Aidan's many ministries, click here. Although I've never met him personally (though I've heard great things about him from Sisters!), I have no problem saying that he's a great example of the whole Vincentian mission. The Vincentians were founded by St. Vincent de Paul and are the "brother community" of the Daughters of Charity. The two have always been intertwined, sharing a common history and supporting each other - their Superior General is also the Superior General of the Sisters, for example.

On a lighter note, check out this video of the Superior General of the Vincentians, Fr Gregory Gay (a Baltimorean!), during his visit to Bolivia. The hilarity starts around 3:00. (By the way, I'm really impressed with Fr. Gregory's Spanish!)

Vincentian Quote of the Week: St Vincent & the Poor

You see a great deal of distress that you are unable to relieve. God sees it also. Bear the pains of the poor together with them, doing all you can to give them whatever help they need, and remain in peace. (St Vincent de Paul)

The 1600s in France was a time of horrible poverty. Imagine how the first Vincentian priests felt as they witnessed this? (Interestingly enough, some of the first Daughters of Charity were poor themselves...some didn't even know how to read or write before entering!) St Vincent de Paul gives great advice - share the pain of the poor but do not let yourselves get overwhelmed with problems you can't relieve alone; rather, breathe and do what you can!

Never Give Up on Your Vocation

Two nights ago, I had a dream about a Bolivian friend of mine, Claudia. Yesterday was her 25th birthday so she was on my mind. We've always been close and now, I believe, closer still (at least spiritually) now that we both left the same congregation and joined/joining another.

Three years ago, Claudia and I were both in the same group of aspirants in that Salesian congregation. We grew close, partially due to our age (we were the oldest in the group) and also, I think, because we complemented each other in personality. When I decided to leave after six months, Claudia confided in me that she was having doubts too, that a part of her wanted to join the Daughters of Mary Help of Christians (FMAs). (She did, six months ago) Another aspirant of our group of five also confided in me that she was having doubts too, that she was wondering if she had a contemplative, maybe even cloistered, vocation. All three of us would end up leaving, though be it years apart from each other.

"You are my sister, no matter the distance, you are my sister;
even though little we may see each other, my heart will always be united to yours
since my prayer will always remember you"

In my dream, I was visiting the motherhouse of the FMAs in the United States for some reason but years in the future - I was a Daughter of Charity (hopefully, in this sense, I'm predicting the future!). I was walking down the sidewalk outside of their chapel when I spotted a group of Salesian Sisters (FMAs) in their white habits further down the sidewalk. They were stopped talking to someone. I caught up to them, curious because I knew a few from my VIDES formation days with those same Sisters. One looked especially familiar to me though, though I couldn't pinpoint from where. Then, it dawned on me: "CLAUDIA?" I said after I tapped her on the shoulder. She looked confused for a second and then recognized me "AMANDA?" We hugged and I started crying out of joy because I thought I would never see her again. Then, the two of us started blabbering on in Spanish.

This dream is of no importance to you, I know. And it's most likely simply that - a dream.
But I swear there is a reason I'm sharing this with you.
What struck me was that, in the dream, there we were - me in a dark blue buttoned habit and a coiffe (head covering), her in a white habit and veil, a daughter of St Vincent and a daughter of Don Bosco - when, years ago, we were wearing the same aspirant jumper of a different congregation.

I think people tend to think that, once you join a religious congregation and leave, you must be done with religious life, that you can't "try again", that you're "damaged goods" so to speak.
But I think Claudia and I are examples of the opposite.

Please, never give up on your vocation. God never stops calling you. A step in the "wrong" direction may, in a special way, actually a step in the "right" direction.Whatever you do, don't stop searching, as discouraging as it might be to "make a mistake", until you find God's call..."where your greatest joy and world's greatest need meet".